Almost a week since the ablation procedure. I though that I would have recovered better than what I feel right now. All pains are gone but still have some tenderness on the liver where it was burned. I start work tomorrow and looking forward to getting back into routine. I do not mind sometime off from work if I can do things but just to sit around the house drives me nuts.

I meet with the oncologist on Friday after work. Last time we spoke, he wanted to avoid chemotherapy. The doctor wanted to take a "wait and see" if this was the last tumor. I will get another PET scan in 3-4 months and hope that it's all gone. You need to understand what it feels like to put your life on hold until the next scan wondering what will be the verdict and if this one will be the final one, it sucks.

Next Wednesday, I go back to RWJ Hospital for a follow up visit with the radiologist that did the ablation. I may need to do a CAT scan in a month or so to see if they burned all of the tumor. If not, then I may need to repeat the ablation.

Now, I have three doctors to deal with about my cancer: the oncologist, the oncologist surgeon and the oncologist radiologist. The list keeps growing.

Three years ago, I barely saw or needed to see a doctor while now I am in and out of doctors offices too many times. There are days I just want to call it quits but I cannot. Part of me refuses to give in or let anything from forcing me to accept defeat. Part of me refuses because of my family and friends. Part of it is because I refuse to show weakness. I just hope God gives me strenght and peace of mind for whatever lays ahead.